Creativity & happiness, cruising and ickiness
There are three groups of people I've been observing the last few weeks. They pop up on Facebook more than actually in my day to day life. And they've been polarising into three distinct groups:
- Happy people, with personal wells full of self esteem, going about creating companies, groups, writing books, creating wonderful family trips and so on. These people are just oozing happiness. Coincidentally, a lot of them are actively in my life. But even though some are bearing dreadful weight on their shoulders (death of a child, cancer in a partner, financial difficulty, health issues), they still manage to be happy. And I know it's not for show. These people are also immensely grateful pretty much for everything.
- Cruisy people, with vary personal wells, some half full, some flowing over, but a mixed bag. They don't think too much about things. They have built a life purposefully and are living it. They seek order and follow popular opinion. They analyse anything on their wall or comments, can often be defensive but don't realise they are. They have the appearance of having their shit in order, but they are cruising in left brain mode, and frankly wonder why the creative people bother speaking in the first place. They are judgemental of anyone who doesn't fit their ordered view of the world. They would never get on stage and sing, unless they'd had a heap of lessons and could do it perfectly, would not show anyone their art, and will cruise the rest of their life accumalating the things they feel make them happy. They are not cruisy in the easy going sense of the word, they drift with purpose, seek no further meaning. They exist.
- The last group I've noticed are icky people. Trolls are always icky. People who make insensitive comments are icky. They manipulate situations to make it appear they are being nice. They make excuses for excluding people, reflecting their icky mirror of themselves in what they say about others. They steal time and disrespect anything that is not clearly centred around them. Drama is regular in their lives, and deep down they are bitterly jealous of anyone who is showing any signs of success. People feel drawn to them, but vaguely uncomfortable around them. Happy people avoid them.
There are plenty of other groups out there, but these three have caught my attention for a number of reasons. One, is that I have been observing what ties creative people together. When they are in pursuit of their life purpose, happiness just seems to happen.
- They don't care if that author self-published or sold 200,000 copies. They are focussed on their own purpose. What you do is up to you, and is your business.
- They laugh and smile a lot, but not at their own crack-ups, but while listening to others around them.
- They radiate a warm energy that other happy people are drawn to. Icky people are suspicious of it. Icky people measure their popularity before moving in. Icky people don't tend to be the people of choice.
- They congratulate others a lot. "Woo hoo!" "You go girl!" They have full wells of self-esteem, clear boundaries, and lift people up. Cruisy people click on things that will build their profile. Icky people seeth with jealousy and resentment, finding faults.
- They are sensitive. They just don't 'get' icky people, or when cruisy people have no self-awareness. I've spent a few late night chats with happy people, unhappy because they've somehow leaked a few ickies and cruisers into their life.
- They quickly work out that the icky people don't have to stay, look at what they can learn, and move on. Back to being happy.
- They have balanced left brains too. They are not ditzy or confused. They know who they are and are proud of it. They can rationalise many concepts, while creatively seeking solutions.
- They are big on solutions, low on problems.
- They have bleuk days too. Low days, sad days, needing a hug days. They can seek solitude to get their energy back, to look inside and question, or just accept, or learn. They are deep thinkers and feelers.
All this, just from observing Facebook activity over a couple of weeks!
I've noticed (and appreciated and given that for this) that I have many happy people in my life. There are cruisy and icky people on my profile, however they have little to do with me day to day. In fact, I do all I can to keep out of their way! Oh, I tell a wee lie. I did engage with one to see their reaction, and it was right on point. They jumped to defence. Happy people tend to not take things personally. People living life almost 100% in the left sphere are quick to jump, and take a long time to let go of views of things. Happy people are blissfully more curious; not just about life, but about what someone might mean or what their intentions might be.
As I've observed happy, cruisy and icky people, relative to their creative sides, it occured to me what a surreal world Facebook is! My wall is different to your wall, but icky people assume that your wall is all about them. Cruisy people don't care, or sit back and judge.
Of course, there are a whole load of other kinds of traits that define us. And we can all be icky, cruisy or happy. Some say it's a choice, but we can only make that choice when we are aware.
Creativity is a journey of self discovery. It's not about shutting down the left side of the brain, but it is about living a life of purpose. At times, you might dance through life, or sing your way out of a crisis, but because you see solutions, not problems, and you embrace challenges as opportunities to grow, it's easier to choose happiness. You see synchronicity at work while others call it luck. You see life differently, and you are happy with that.
This week, I posted that I don't 'get' jealous people. I still don't, as they are drinking from a cup of bitterness that only makes them more unhappy. I didn't mean I was sitting sobbing over anything. It was just an observation. And I meant it when I said that if they could learn to open their minds to new possibilities, it would serve them, and the planet, well, better; on a much bigger scale, as the world begins to wake up, and many of us choose happiness over the darkness of ickiness. Or we want to move from cruise-mode to purpose.
I resolved to do two things. One, was to keep on my own path, focus on my own journey, and continue to not let icky people and cruisy people upset my day. Sure, I'll still observe them - that's how I learn! And two, is to teach others how to get to this happy place. That place still has tears and disappointments, but when you view life as a lesson, you look at things differently. When you accept the reality of good and bad, you see a balance that is of itself, perfect!
And you side-step the icky people and let them pass on their journey. Because that's the whole point. Happy people focus on their own travels. It's not to say the icky people don't exist or are 'bad'. But the reality is, that they can make us feel bad with their ickiness, and are usually completely oblivious to your discomfort. Your creative journey needs to be protected. Once you learn to be happy, you won't tolerate being around people who make you feel otherwise. Period.